I Don't Know What to Feel or Tell You at This Moment Beyond This . . . (Journal Post)

This is the photograph seen today. 

 (This post is also being published at my journal blog.)

 
 
Today the opening photograph on my desktop computer screen showed a courtyard in Florence.  I recalled during the 1970s sitting in an auditorium and listening to an art history teacher passionately making observations about cultural aspects of inspired artisans throughout the ages in Italy and all across the world.  As chronicled in a documentary style in my nonfiction case study Testament — it was a few days after my 39th birthday that what one might express as the 'laws of life and the universe' suddenly ALTERED in relation to my minute-by-minute experiences and an unseen all-knowing being/entity/Angel expressing the Nature of 'God the Creator' was now interacting with me personally in successive ways that each seemed unique.  There had been the paths in life of academia, career and daily physical realities of being a hapless human faced with the challenges of not getting sick or injured.  There had been some astonishing incidents over the years, including finding my first name oddly emphasized in a nonfiction paranormal case study book.  (article)  During the summer of 1995 it suddenly became VERY OBVIOUS continuously and often that something unprecedented and BEYOND IMAGINING WAS HAPPENING TO me.  Once in a great while—very seldom—the realization of all this is enough to SHOCK AND BEWILDER myself just as was experienced those first days when my 'paranormal initiation' reached a point of 'culmination' and simultaneously new development in August 1995.  I want readers to know that the 'exceptionality' of my predicament has never been unrecognized or discounted in any way by 'my little self' throughout the years.  From 1997 and the publication of Testament, it has been obvious that my journalism as a metaphysical author is considered to be beyond the usual scope of what constitutes acceptable public discussion or commentary.  Sometimes it is my concern that this predicament of the exclusion of my life experiences—and subjects of research as published at my other blog—from 'mainstream accessibility' could be the result of myself possibly having 'left something out' in relation to my expressions and reflections about what I can only describe as an 'unusual' or highly fortunate 'path of spiritual discovery.'  This is my perception of the moment prior to myself returning to my current task this week of website restructuring for a change of hosting packages in order to gain some necessary options desired for managing the Testament website.  The evident response from M to this journal entry manifested at 3:24 p.m. in a loud solar plexus audible word occurrence of "OH" in the often recurring deep male voice.